He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize