She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
