OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
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It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
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And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Congratulations! We have a period
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