carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
