I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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