No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
