Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He felt like a one man threesome
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
