She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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