It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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