elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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