Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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