what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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