We won't sleep together?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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