8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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