Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Fuck me I smell like cheese
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize