How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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