I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
