I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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