There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
