remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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