but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
