...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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