Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
a search helicopter?!
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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