i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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