**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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