from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
