Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
smell my finger.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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