You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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