having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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