so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
