hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
