Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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