He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
