Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The ass gains better be worth it
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
