I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
