when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
