Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
