Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
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I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
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Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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