I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
