I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
