Pants 0. Shit 1.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
