There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
