apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
