id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
