I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize