This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
