do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
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