her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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