i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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