i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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