meet me or not, i'm out of control
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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