vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
