It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
im on a boat
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