from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
