fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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