I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
