So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
