I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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