she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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