And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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