we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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