Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
