it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
