so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
