Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I could make wine with my vomit
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you will always have a special place in my vag
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I would fuck him just for his dog
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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