i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize