Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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