thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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