I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize