420 ftw
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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