her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
