We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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