yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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