none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
